DEEP SKY: My Quick Movie Review...

So I watched the new IMAX documentary Deep Sky at the California Science Center earlier today, and I must say that it was really good!

The film is pretty up-to-date in regards to the photos and exoplanetary data collected by NASA's James Webb Space Telescope since its first official images were unveiled to the public in July of 2022.

If you liked the 2010 IMAX film Hubble like I did, then you'll enjoy this one...even though Deep Sky wasn't shown in 3D like the Toni Myers documentary was when I saw it on the big screen for the first time 13 years ago.

In terms of the narration, Michelle Williams did a great job doing the voice-over in Deep Sky like Leonardo DiCaprio did for Hubble.

And just like Hubble, I intend to buy Deep Sky on DVD once it's available for purchase. Yes, DVD!

Happy Hump Day.

PARMAN’S PAGE Update... Just to let you know, I recently created two additional Blogs on my website that will be devoted to manned spaceflight and movie news from here on out. If you want to read my inevitable review for Transformers: Dark of the Moon (which officially comes out in theaters this Wednesday), check out my Film Notes section. If you want to get info about the upcoming mission of Atlantis (which will be the final flight for the space shuttle program before it comes to an end next month), visit my Human Spaceflight Blog. For other news that have absolutely no relevance to the most of y'all, stay on this page. Carry on.

LINKS: Click here to read my movie review for TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON (June 30)

Click here to read my launch blog for space shuttle Atlantis' STS-135 mission (July 8)


NASA / Kim Shiflett

FAST FIVE... I saw the Justin Lin-directed action flick last Sunday, and compared to the previous Fast and the Furious films I saw (the first one in 2001, and Fast and Furious in 2009), this one was awesome! Of course, my opinion may be tainted by the fact the movie has a surprising 78% Fresh rating on RottenTomatoes.com, but Fast Five truly had a lot of cool action sequences in it. From the opening rescue scene of Vin Diesel (which was a continuation of the final scene in Fast and Furious), to Paul Walker and Jordana Brewser trying to steal cars from a moving train in Brazil, to the ridiculous but entertaining climax where Paul Walker and Vin Diesel evade scores of police cars while literally towing a giant money vault along the streets of Rio de Janeiro, Fast Five definitely delivered as one of the first blockbuster films of the 2011 summer movie season. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson was a bad-ass as DSS (Diplomatic Security Service) agent Hobbs...and if you stayed to watch the end credits, you’ll know that he (as well as Eva Mendes) will have a considerable role in the next Fast and the Furious flick. I wouldn’t have said this two weeks earlier, but I’ll totally watch Fast and the Furious 6 whenever it comes out.



FYI, what makes watching Fast Five last Sunday especially noteworthy is the fact I just arrived home from the theater when I found out that Osama bin Laden was eliminated (one of my brothers told me as I was walking into the garage since I usually park my car out on the street). Other people ask "Where were you on 9/11?" (I was at home... I didn’t have college classes that day)... This is what I was doing on the evening the world’s most wanted terrorist was taken out by U.S. Navy SEALs. Carry on.

SUCKER PUNCH... I saw the Zack Snyder-directed film earlier today, and much like his previous films Watchmen and 300, it was visually stunning. Plus, it had a pretty cool soundtrack. The most interesting aspect of Sucker Punch is that all the fantasy scenes in the movie involving the main character Baby Doll (played by Emily Browning...who I remember from 2004’s Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, which starred Jim Carrey) took place while she was burlesque-dancing (which we never see on-screen) for different clients at the mental asylum she was held in. Who would’ve thought it was possible to gyrate and titillate while simultaneously picture oneself fighting against a 30-foot-tall Samurai welding a Gatling gun? Hm.



I also saw the sci-fi adventure comedy Paul. It was funny... If I had the funds I’d totally go to Nevada and visit the "Extraterrestrial Highway" that leads to Area 51, just like what Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s characters did. Seth Rogen was amusing voicing the alien, while it was interesting to see Jason Bateman and Jeffrey Tambor (who both appeared in the long-defunct but very hilarious FOX TV series Arrested Development) show up in the film...along with Bill Hader and Joe Lo Truglio (who, along with Rogen, both showed up in 2007’s smash hit Superbad. Greg Mottola, who helmed Superbad, also directed Paul). Nice um, cameo by Steven Spielberg in the movie... I’m looking forward to watching the upcoming J.J. Abrams-directed film Super 8—which is produced by Spielberg. The film comes out in theaters on June 10. So, yea. You know what I’m gonna say next: That is all.

BATTLE: LOS ANGELES... I finally saw the alien-invasion film today, and needless to say, it was the sci-fi version of Black Hawk Down. Which means...I thought it was pretty cool! Non-stop action was waged throughout B:LA, much like in Ridley Scott’s 2002 war flick about the 1993 conflict in Somalia. Aaron Eckhart was awesome as Staff Sergeant Nantz; while compared to her gung-ho attitude in Avatar, Machete and the Fast and the Furious films, Michelle Rodriguez was somewhat tame as Tech Sgt. Elena Santos in B:LA. As Santos, Rodriguez didn't have the usual sarcastic quips that she had playing previous movie characters. Not that that's a bad thing. Nothing exceptionally noteworthy about the civilians played by Bridget Moynahan and Michael Peña, but I’ll give them props since my review about this flick is supposed to be a positive one. I just found out through IMDb.com that 2nd Lt. William Martinez, who was in charge of the Marine platoon before handing command over to Eckhart's Nantz and then sacrificing himself later in the film, was played by Ramon Rodriguez. In case you’re wondering who this is, Rodriguez played the wacky college roommate of Shia LaBeouf in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. But back to B:LA.



Battle: Los Angeles didn’t exactly have a deep message like 2009’s District 9 (which B:LA also borrowed elements from...namely weapons that cause explosions surrounded by bolts of lightning) did, but it was still a lot better than last year’s Skyline. B:LA didn’t have a "WTF??" moment at the very end of the movie like Skyline did...though as I said at the beginning of this journal entry, B:LA was obviously inspired by Black Hawk Down in that Eckhart and Co. go back into the battlefield at the film's conclusion to take care of unfinished business. Also, the battle in Los Angeles lasted for one day...while the 1993 battle in Mogadishu, Somalia lasted a day as well. Nothing wrong with that. My personal gripe about B:LA is that, like the Bourne movies (as in The Bourne Identity, Supremacy and Ultimatum), it overdid it with the shaky cam. By now using this camera technique in war films has become a cliché, and unfortunately B:LA suffers from this tired method. It was cool in Saving Private Ryan, Gladiator and Black Hawk Down...but try spending more time setting the camera up on a tripod or at least a Steadicam, folks—if there’s a sequel (Battle: San Diego, anyone?). Thanks. Another gripe is that the trippy song used in B:LA's theatrical trailers, "The Sun’s Gone Dim and the Sky Turned Black" by Icelandic musician Johann Johannsson, wasn't featured in the movie. Oh well.



Special effects-wise, the aliens in B:LA looked interesting...though were they using projectile weapons (RE: bullets) just like the humans were? I guess having the invaders shoot laser beams at the Marines would’ve ruined the gritty, realistic tone of the film. After all, this ain’t Star Wars. Or Star Trek. Or Independence Day. Or Transformers. Or Terminator. The same people who did the visual FX on Skyline also did the FX work on B:LA. The FX work was what saved Skyline since its CW Network-quality cast of actors wasn’t exactly the saving grace of that movie. That is all.

TRON: LEGACY... I saw the movie today, and as expected, the visual effects (VFX) were AMAZING. From the gladiatorial fights between Sam Flynn (Garrett Hedlund) and the programs to the Light Cycle race on The Grid, and then the aerial dogfight between Clu (Jeff Bridges) and Sam’s father Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges again) at the climax of this film, Tron: Legacy didn’t fail to entertain. There were two issues I had with the flick, but other than that, I’ll possibly buy this on DVD when it gets released.



Tron: Legacy wasn’t short on hot gals. Despite wearing a short black wig, Olivia Wilde still looked totally stunning. Heck, even the Light Runner (shown above) her character Quorra used to rescue Sam from The Grid was pretty awesome. Beau Garrett as the ‘Siren’ known as Gem looked gorgeous. And so was Elizabeth Mathis (who was last seen wearing a Hooters outfit in the recent Tony Scott action film, Unstoppable) as another Siren. I’m assuming if this film got at least a PG-13 rating, Gem’s outfit would’ve been even hotter. But hey, this is a Disney film... This is all wishful thinking.



In terms of the issues I had with the Tron sequel, it was the opening real-world scene and the ending that I took notice with. Granted, the whole premise of both this flick and the classic 1982 original was a total exercise in suspension of disbelief (humans get zapped by a laser projector and become digitized into a video game where the computer programs are so lifelike they dance and drink at bars). While I was waiting for Sam to get zapped into the world of Tron, I felt that the shot of him finally getting hit by the digitizing laser was too abrupt. In fact, we don’t even see him getting shot by the laser. One would think that dramatic music and some cool CGI sequence (like the shot where Jake Sully's mind connects with his avatar's body for the first time in Avatar) would accompany Sam’s entry into the realm that his father created, but nope. The movie wastes no time (if you didn’t think watching Sam parachute off that ENCOM skyscraper was a waste of time... What other expedient way could he have escaped the building?) in getting to the real—RE: digital—action. And now onto the ending.



While one can rationalize that Kevin and Sam Flynn are able to re-enter the real world from The Grid because they’re originally humans, Tron: Legacy doesn’t bother to explain how Clu and his army could convert to actual living organisms if they succeeded in entering that portal. Of course, Tron doesn’t need to bother explaining this particular plot-point...because it didn’t bother explaining how Quorra could become human after she joined Sam in the real world at the end of the movie (apparently, that laser projector is so advanced that it can create body organs even for non-biological things that leave The Grid). Also, the movie didn’t bother to show Sam and Quorra actually re-emerging from the digitizing laser in the finale...but this one isn’t really a criticism. I’m not one of those moviegoers who need everything spelled out for me in a film. Okay— That’s not really true. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have typed these last two paragraphs.


(By the way, am I the only one here who noticed that Kevin Flynn suddenly impersonated Obi-Wan Kenobi—complete with the hood—the minute he showed up at The Grid? Just being facetious.)



So will I watch Tron: Legacy at the theater again? Most likely...but definitely not in IMAX (since I spent $17.50 on the ticket today. Good grief). If I can watch Avatar numerous times at the theater last Christmas, I can re-watch Tron 2. Its story wasn’t as derivative as that of the James Cameron flick, but the VFX was just as awesome. That is all.

HAIRY POTHEAD AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, Part 1... In case you’re wondering why I made fun of the movie’s title like this, click on this link to a journal entry that I posted about the first Harry Potter film back in 2001. Anyways, I saw Deathly Hallows yesterday...and thought it was good for the most part. The tone of this film is COMPLETELY 180° from that of the first Potter flick, The Sorcerer's Stone, in '01. Lots of blood (and exposed muscle tissue on one of Ron Weasley's arms in one scene... Nasty) are in this movie, and don’t forget that sexual image of Harry and Hermione Granger—both essentially nude as they make out in front of Ron during the moment he destroys that locket with the Sword of Gryffindor (yes, I went on Google to make sure I spelled that name right).



Deathly Hallows had several Lord of the Rings-type moments, which in one way was a good thing (the serious undertone was a welcome change after the kiddy atmosphere in the first 6 movies...though Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix were actually pretty boring because of the dark tone that started to emerge as those films went on) and in another way wasn't. There were shots after shots of Potter and his two threesome partners (err, Hermione and Ron) walking aimlessly about across a grassy/forest landscape before brooding inside that large magical tent that Hermione somehow kept inside her purse. I was waiting for Frodo and the rest of the Fellowship of the Ring to make a cameo, haha. These drawn out sulking scenes were obviously the result of dividing this story into two separate movies. David Yates (who directed this film as well as The Half-Blood Prince and Order of the Phoenix) had to find SOME way to get this Potter flick to the usual 2-½ hour running time...



One thing I really liked about Deathly Hallows, however, were the large number of action scenes in this flick compared to the previous movies. The best scenes in Deathly Hallows were obviously those of Lord Voldemort and/or his minions as they hunted down Potter and company. And nice allegory to the Nazi discrimination of Jews with the whole Muggle persecution by the Ministry of Magic thing. I guess this was J.K. Rowling’s attempt at bringing substance and relevance to this first installment in the final Hairy Pothead film chapter. That is all.

SKYLINE... I saw the low budget sci-fi film last Saturday, and here are a couple of notes on it:

-- The computer-generated imagery in Skyline was simply awesome. Of course, this is due to the fact the filmmakers (Colin Strause and Greg Strause...the brothers who brought you Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem) employed a bunch of no-name actors that you would see on a CW Network TV show like um, Gossip Girl to save money that was obviously devoted to the visual FX. (This no-name cast excludes David Zayas—who was last seen as a dictator being manipulated by Eric Roberts in last August’s action film The Expendables.)

-- The first 10-15 minutes of Skyline had the most pathetic attempts at character development I’ve ever seen on the big screen. Out of all the so-called characterization (some dude travels from out of state to Los Angeles to hang with rapper friend; rapper friend cheats on his girlfriend with another hoochie mama; and the girlfriend of the dude who came from out of state to hang with rapper friend is pregnant), there was only one storyline that managed to be focused on at the end of the film: One of the girls being um, 'preggers'. Of course, the fact that all but two of the characters mentioned above get killed over the course of the movie is a good reason for this. But still...Skyline's character development was atrocious.



-- It’s a wise move that the military would use Unmanned Aerial Vehicles (UAVs) in the initial attack on the alien ships. Nice use of Northrop Grumman’s X-47B...a prototype UAV that, in real life, may possibly conduct its first flight next month.

-- I like how the aliens are more gruesome than Predator in that they not only rip people's heads off, but they also ingest the humans' brains and gain whatever memory is inside it.

-- Skyline is worthy of being considered an Oscar contender for Best Visual FX (that is...before the nominees are narrowed down to 3 choices). Best Art Direction? Probably not. This is because the aliens were a cross between Predator, the Cloverfield monster, the aliens from Señor Spielbergo's War of the Worlds and the Arachnids from Starship Troopers. Also, the mothership (that gets shot down by an X-47B armed with a nuclear missile) resembled the Romulan vessel Narada from the 2009 Star Trek film...while the smaller aerial craft/creatures were a rip-off of the Sentinels from The Matrix.

-- Skyline cost $10 million to make and made $13.2 million at the box office as of this journal entry. Nice to know that it won’t be considered a flop.


That is all.

DUE DATE... I saw the film last weekend, and while it had a couple of funny moments like The Hangover did, Due Date wasn’t without its flaws. The first issue I have is with the number of times Robert Downey Jr. (as Peter Highman) gets into an accident thanks to Zach Galifianakis (as Ethan Tremblay)—obviously intentional—and pretty much comes out of ‘em as if they were mere paper cuts. In one example (shown above), Ethan falls asleep behind the steering wheel and causes the car he’s driving to veer off an overpass and crash onto the highway below. While he did come away with a broken arm and ribs, Peter still seems 'OK' enough to withstand a future mishap at the hands of Tremblay (in the form of...a gunshot wound)—who didn’t have a scratch or bruise on his face even though he didn’t "tense" up enough to get injured like Peter did during the accident. In another scene, Peter is getting bounced around like a ping-pong ball inside a truck trailer as Ethan—behind the wheel of a Mexican police cruiser towing the trailer—tries to evade pursuing cop cars while the duo tries to head back to the U.S. border (after accidentally driving to Mexico). The trailer flips over during a collision at one point in the chase, and Highman is still well enough to thank Tremblay for getting his arse back into the U.S. moments later. More on this scene below...



In terms of plot issues in Due Date, much of ‘em revolved around the car chase in Mexico. For starters, how did Highman and Tremblay manage to re-enter the U.S. without any additional obstacles...considering the fact that not only did they not have passports on ‘em, but they were driving around in a stolen Mexican police truck with its right passenger door missing? How did they manage to reach Los Angeles and NOT get pulled over by LAPD and/or California Highway Patrol officers who would find it suspicious that a law enforcement vehicle from another country was cruising down a freeway with its sirens blazing, AND missing the door? I obviously understand that the movie is about slapstick comedy and whatnot...but I kinda had trouble suspending my disbelief during these moments.



All-in-all, Due Date could’ve been a better film. I like how Highman doesn’t completely lay an ass-whupping on Tremblay after realizing that this entire situation is caused by Ethan’s "vulnerability" due to the death of his father. The scene at the Grand Canyon was a nice moment—though overall, one wonders if Tremblay truly had what it took to act on a formidable TV show like...Two and a Half Men. Probably. I wouldn’t say that Jon Cryer is an Oscar-caliber actor either.

10 YEARS AND COUNTING!... Just as a quick FYI, today marks a decade since I posted my very first (and brief) journal entry for this Blog. Time suuure goes by fast...




Anyways, I saw Paranormal Activity 2 yesterday, and as expected, I thought the film was pretty darn scary. Every time that ominous rumbling sound was heard in the background during a scene, you know that something freaky was obviously gonna happen inside that house—whether it was at night or at day. Of course, it would’ve been more frightening if most of the shocking moments in the movie weren’t seen in the TV ads [though it was showing shots from these scary scenes that obviously got me and every other person who saw this film to wanna watch Paranormal Activity 2 (or PA2)...DUHHH]. In the first Paranormal Activity, the most intense scene in that flick was the moment Katie was dragged out of her bed and down the stairs in her house by an evil unseen entity. A similar scene occurs with Katie’s sister Kristi after she is dragged out of her son’s nursery room in PA2...but for me, the "been there, seen that" attitude after seeing the first flick diminishes the impact of this scene. However, I have to give the filmmakers credit for nicely tying the story of this film with the first one. Paranormal Activity 2 is a prequel to the 2009 surprise hit (which was actually shown at the Screamfest Film Festival in 2007 but released nationwide in the U.S. on October 16 of last year).



If there’s one gripe that I have with Paranormal Activity 2, it’s that the backstory seemed like it was ripped off from an episode of the hit TV show Supernatural (the whole "making a deal with a demon to live a more prosperous life" bit). I’m surprised Jared Padalecki and/or Jensen Ackles (who play ghosthunters Sam and Dean Winchester on Supernatural) didn’t make cameos in the movie. Or at the very least, the daughter in PA2, Ali, tried to find out via her laptop computer how to contact a ‘crossroads demon’ (a recurring character/villain on Supernatural) to deal with the haunting of her family. Anyways...



I also watched Back to the Future at the theater yesterday. The 1985 sci-fi adventure classic was shown during a special 12:30 PM screening at the AMC theater in Puente Hills Mall (which served as the Twin Pines Mall in Back to the Future). Needless to say, it was a sell-out crowd...as lots of other people wanted to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the release of Robert Zemeckis’ hit film. Everyone in the audience got free theatrical posters of the movie afterwards. Would you guys chew me out if I said this was actually the first time I saw Back to the Future in its entirety? Would you chew me out even more if I said I never saw Back to the Future 2 and only bits and pieces of Back to the Future 3 as well? Great Scott! Quit hurling tomatoes at me!

THE SOCIAL NETWORK... I saw the film two days ago, and thought it was pretty good. Definitely not the piece of crap that the teaser trailer made it out to be. (PUNK... PROPHET... BILLIONAIRE... STFU!) Jesse Eisenberg—of Zombieland fame—was amusing as Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg...though it’s funny how little Eisenberg sounded like the real Internet billionaire [Zuckerberg made a guess appearance on last week’s episode of The Simpsons...and the dude has a pretty deep voice. Of course, The Social Network is based on events 7 years ago, but I doubt Zuckerberg sounds any different than he did when he was a hated(?) Harvard computer nerd in 2003].



Justin Timberlake did a notable job as Napster founder Sean Parker...though I wonder if Parker is anything close to acting like the somewhat douchey and cowardly partygoer that Timberlake portrayed him as. I don’t know much about British actor Andrew Garfield except that he's gonna play the next Peter Parker, but my hopes for 2012’s Spider-Man reboot have gone up a little after seeing his commendable performance as Facebook co-founder Eduardo Saverin.



The actress who plays Saverin’s girlfriend, Brenda Song, looked so friggin’ hot in the movie. Seeing as how Song is credited on IMDb only as "Christy" in The Social Network, was her character fictitious? Just kidding... Upon further research, I know that her full name is Christy Lee. It's Erica Albright, the girl played by Rooney Mara who is the reason why Zuckerberg created Facebook in the movie, that doesn't exist. Supposedly.



Before you ask... No, I didn’t post a status update about The Social Network on Facebook after I watched the movie. But I did tweet about it on my Twitter page (I’d provide a link...but I’ll probably end up deleting my Twitter account a few months from now...only to create a new profile on the same day. Just because). I wonder if the origins of MySpace and Friendster were just as dark as that of Facebook. Probably not. Otherwise, we would have already seen a Friendster movie...and Tom, the creator of MySpace, wouldn’t have been relegated to a cameo in last year’s unfunny flick Funny People. That is all.

THE TOWN... I saw the Ben Affleck-directed film yesterday, and much like other bank heist flicks such as Inside Man, The Bank Job and even Takers, I thought it was pretty entertaining. I always think it’s cool to see on-screen robbers wearing crazy masks and disguises (such as The Joker’s goons wearing clown masks during that bank robbery at the beginning of The Dark Knight, and the late Patrick Swayze and Co. dressed up as the Ex-Presidents in the 1991 movie, Point Break) as they pull off capers against armored trucks and city banks.



I’m trying to decide which disguise was better: The grim reaper masks Ben Affleck and his gang wore in the opening scene of The Town, or those nun outfits they sport later on in the movie. Speaking of the nun scene, the funniest moment in the film was Affleck and his posse ditching one getaway vehicle to escape in another (after their armored truck robbery goes awry)...only to realize they parked right next to the squad car of a lone Boston police officer. Seeing as how he was the only cop in the area, and he was going up against four dudes dressed as old religious women armed with automatic rifles, it was understandable that this officer would literally look away as Affleck and his gang made their final escape.



If there’s one gripe I had about The Town, it’s that for some odd reason it seemed like the ending to the movie felt a little "safe". On one hand, Affleck’s character is obviously portrayed as someone to sympathize with, despite being an anti-hero and all, but there was something about that final scene in Florida that seemed a little too "Hollywood happy ending-ish" (yes I made up this term) to me. Then again, it might have actually been a cliché for Affleck to be gunned down by the FBI just like the rest of his posse did in the finale. It was cool to see Clive Owen leave that bank unscathed in Inside Man, so in hindsight, there’s absolutely nothing wrong to see Affleck leave the crime-ridden streets of Charlestown to start a new life in the middle of a Florida swamp. It’s not like he was able to get the girl at the end, after all...



I also saw the horror film Devil last night. I thought it was okay. My opinion would probably be more favorable if not for the stigma created by the "Story by M. Knight Shyamalan" credit at the beginning of the movie. Oh well. One of my co-workers mentioned a few months ago that the twist in Devil was that it was a creature terrorizing those five folks in that elevator, as opposed to one of those folks being the culprit themselves. He was wrong. I had the sudden urge to watch the TV show Supernatural (its 6th season premieres on the CW Network this Friday!) after the demon finally revealed itself in the movie’s climax. If Sam or Dean Winchester was on that elevator, the devil wouldn’t stand a chance. Then again, considering what happened in Supernatural's Season 5 finale last May, maybe not. That is all.

MACHETE... I saw the new Robert Rodriguez action film yesterday, and um, where do I begin? Do I talk about the movie’s VERY OVERT take on illegal immigration first? Or the extremely gory but amusing violence? Or how 'bout the fact Robert Rodriguez somehow manages to get some of the hottest actresses in Hollywood to bare it all in his movies? Um... I think I’ll talk about the hot actresses’ part first.



In 2005’s Sin City, Robert Rodriguez had Carla Gugino and Jaime King showin’ some skin in the Frank Miller graphic novel-inspired flick. In Machete, he had Jessica Alba (who was also in Sin City—but as an exotic dancer who pretty much kept her clothes on) AND Lindsay Lohan doing nudesy in his film...albeit briefly. Say what you will about Lohan, but I took no offense to seeing her skinny dip in that pool before ending up nude and unconscious on a couch in Cheech Marin’s holy sanctuary. If only Michelle Rodriguez was also game in doing a scene that would eventually be featured on Mr. Skin, this would be a trifecta. I’m tempted to point out that R. Rodriguez should’ve at least have M. Rodriguez and Alba "share" a special moment at that taco truck (outside of M. Rodriguez's character showing Alba her immigration papers, since Alba plays a cop in the movie), but I won’t. Anyways... Onto the illegal immigration part.

UPDATE (September 6): I just found out online that Jessica Alba wasn't nude at all in Machete...and that the white undies she's wearing in all the TV commercials were on the whole time. The undies were 'removed' via CGI. I'm too lazy to edit the rest of this entry to accommodate this lousy bit of news, so um, continuing reading on.



Machete would be nothing but a gory, brainless action flick featuring lots of well-known Mexican and Caribbean actors if not for the fact it was clearly obvious Rodriguez was intent on dealing with the issue of illegal immigration in his film. Most of Machete’s storyline takes place in Texas...though I wonder how controversial this movie would’ve been if Rodriguez had this flick take place in Arizona instead. Speaking of Arizona, I wonder how Machete fared in that state's movie theaters this weekend. It probably did well...most likely because of Jessica Alba’s shower scene, and Lohan’s moment in that swimming pool. Back-to-topic, it’s a nice bit of timing that Machete would be released during such a contentious time when illegal immigration is at the forefront of politics and everyday news discussions. It’s totally not farfetched that there would actually be vigilante gangs roaming around the desert—whether in California, Arizona, New Mexico or Texas—looking for illegal aliens to shoot. Now that we’re on this topic, onto the extremely gory but amusing violence in Machete.



If Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez have something in common, it’s that they both share a fondness for showing over-the-top bloodbath in such movies as Kill Bill and Grindhouse...respectively. In Machete, the biggest um, highlight of this flick was that hospital scene where Danny Trejo, as Machete, is having a conversation with that doctor about how long the human intestine is. Minutes later, you see Machete using a scalpel to stab a goon who was sent to kill him at the hospital, and then ripping out that goon’s intestine to use as a rope to climb out of a window and escape. If I was 6 years-old, I’d be extremely traumatized by this (assuming, of course, I knew what the heck I was watching). As it stands, I smirked at that scene. Also, what is it with Rodriguez showing priests killing or getting killed in his movies? In Sin City, Mickey Rourke’s character beats a priest to a bloody pulp...and in Machete, Cheech Marin’s preacher gets to blast away some bad guys before he unfortunately meets his fate nailed to a wooden cross. Do you think Jesus would condone Marin’s use of a shotgun moments before he got "martyred"? Do you think Jesus would condone Rodriguez’s portrayal of clergymen, period? Probably not. And for the record, I’m not a God-boy. I was being f-a-c-e-t-i-o-u-s.



One last note about Machete: Robert De Niro was hilarious in this film! You know his villainous role as a U.S. senator isn’t suppose to be taken seriously (like say, his role as the young Vito Corleone in The Godfather: Part II) when he’s forced to dress like a migrant worker during the final fight scene in Machete...only to be shot down by Lindsay Lohan in a nun outfit. I think he was much funnier in this movie than he was in Meet the Parents and Meet the Fockers (the third installment, Little Fockers, which also features Jessica Alba and De Niro, comes out in theaters later this year). De Niro’s performance in this movie is just as amusing as the amount of weight Steven Seagal put on since his heyday doing action flicks such as 1992's Under Siege. I think it’s considered bad writing that I’m bringing up Seagal so late in this journal entry, so I’ll leave it at that. Actually...no. I have one question regarding Seagal and the beginning of Machete: How did Machete end up in Texas when, at the opening scene of the film, we see him with a knife wound to one of his legs and inside a house that Seagal’s goons are about to set on fire? I’ll have to watch this movie again (on DVD, obviously) to hear what Seagal's character told Machete before his life was spared. I wonder if Rodriguez will indeed make two more Machete films (titled Machete Kills and...Machete Kills Again). Just being facetious once more. Machete was an action-packed, laughing stock of a movie.



I also saw George Clooney’s new film The American this weekend. What did I think of this movie, you ask? Well let’s put it this way... I found a flick about a knife-welding Mexican to be more interesting. Violante Placido is very gorgeous, however, and Thekla Reuten for some odd reason reminds me of the lovely Amy Adams (of The Office and Enchanted fame). That is all.