So earlier today, I drove down to Laguna Woods in Orange County, CA, to attend the wedding of Nancy. It was a small ceremony...with less than 40 of us in attendance, and Nancy didn't even have a DJ to play music during her reception afterwards (she played songs from a CD player placed near her table). There was no music when she walked down the aisle either. Anyways, those are beside the point. After 8 years of being in a relationship with him, and a little over 3 years since she got engaged, Nancy finally tied the knot with Roy (I'm making another reference to The Office; it's not his real name). Now, for those of you wondering about The Office allusion in the headline of this Blog entry, a previous post (which was linked to in the opening sentence above) compared my situation to that of Jim Halpert. He was secretly in love with Pam Beesly at Dunder Mifflin for 3 years even though he knew that she was engaged to Roy for more than 8. Halpert secretly bided his time until the moment was right for him to express his feelings for Pam...and despite a hiccup along the way (Pam chose to stay faithful to Roy, prompting Jim to futilely move from Scranton to Stamford to get away from her), Jim and Pam eventually found their way into each other's arms, and would get married in Season 6 of The Office. And then they moved to Austin, Texas by Season 9 (in the series finale) so Jim could pursue a job at a sports marketing company with Pam and their two kids at his side.
Unfortunately, the happy ending for a fictional couple on a now-defunct NBC TV show won't apply to me here. This is the first time ever that I attended the wedding of a girl who I still had strong feelings for. Clearly, Nancy wanted me to show up to Orange County, seeing as how she first texted me about the wedding invitation she sent (yes, I was very devastated when I saw the invitation upon opening that text) and asked if the information was clear enough for other guests to understand (I told her that she should mention the start times for the wedding and the reception separately on the invitation), and then texted me again to tell me about the dress code for her ceremony. She preferred casual business attire even though I ended up wearing a black pinstripe suit.
For me, it was a given that I'd attend Nancy's wedding. Two years ago, I felt that it would actually be a big victory if I became close enough to Nancy that she invited me to her ceremony...whenever it would be (Yes, there are so many flaws with that sentence I just typed.) The big question was: Should I buy Nancy a wedding gift? As someone who wished that our situation could've been like Jim and Pam, it's probably detrimental to show too much support for Nancy and Roy by not only seeing them tie the knot in person, but also giving them a wedding card with $100 in cash stuffed inside of it. Yes, that's how much I gave this couple earlier today.
Did I take photos at Nancy's ceremony, you asked? Yes I did. And yes, they are now posted on my main website. (I'll give you the luxury of finding those photos yourself!) I don't know if the situation between me and Nancy will one day deteriorate to the point where I feel compelled to remove those pics from my webpage, nor do I want to find out. (Remember Denise? If we took a hypothetical photo together back in college and then posted it on my site, I wonder if I would've deleted it by now considering that the situation between us is, most decisively, a debacle.) I could continue typing and typing, but I'll just end this entry here since it could be as long as a research paper if I decided to express every single feeling I was experiencing right now. Would I say 'yes' if Nancy asks me to go hiking again? Yes, I would. I'm not gonna burn bridges with her. Would I go out of my way to ask Nancy if she wanted to go hiking, you ask? Hm— Good question. As the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder...although in this case, the heart is fond for another heart that unfortunately can no longer (or never did) reciprocate the feeling. Have a good night.
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