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BRING ON CHRISTMAS! As you probably know by now, the NBA lockout is pretty much kaput, with a 66-game 2011-‘12 regular season set to begin on December 25. Five games will be played on Jeebus’ birthday...with match-ups between:

- the Oklahoma City Thunder and the Orlando Magic

- the Los Angeles Clippers and the Golden State Warriors

- the Boston Celtics and the New York Knicks

- the defending champion Dallas Mavericks (bastards) and the Miami Heat (even bigger bastards)

and of course,

- the Lakers and the Chicago Bulls
Kobe takes on 2011 NBA MVP Derrick Rose at STAPLES Center in L.A...at 2:15 PM, Pacific Time on ABC.

Speaking of the Lake Show, I owe Chad Ochocinco (formerly Chad Johnson...of the NFL’s New England Patriots) an apology. I didn’t think someone else could change their last (or should I say, full) name to something a lot worse than 'Ochocinco'. Boy, was I wrong. Metta World Peace... Really, Ron Artest? If the Lakers don’t waive you for financial reasons, it would be for that wacky moniker you gave yourself over this summer. Whatever. Basketball is back!