THE BUTT-OUT TOOL... I was browsing through today’s mail when I saw that one of my siblings received a catalogue for
Cabela’s...a company that sells hunting and camping supplies. Looking through the brochure, and seeing all the nifty gizmos that people use to rob wild animals of their lives with
(don’t worry, I’m not as offended as I sound with that PC comment), I stumbled upon one item of note: the
Butt-Out Tool. This plastic object
(which, duh, could obviously be utilized as a sex toy as well), is used to remove the anal alimentary canal from deer or any other wildlife of the same size. I guess the reason for this is because, like with humans, a deer’s bowels loosen up after death...and you don’t want all that crap spilling out while the carcass is still on the flatbed of some slaughterer—err, hunter’s pickup truck. So you use the Butt-Out Tool to remove the canal from the deer’s ass, twist the canal out and tie it before you cut the membrane off. And
voila: No spilled s**t as a butcher—err, hunter—brings his trophy back home for final cleaning. Or I maybe wrong. Whatever. By the way, I’m still not offended by wildlife hunters. I just like teasing these happy bunch of pseudo serial killers. Just kidding again.
It definitely sucks to be a deer. Not only does some biped schmuck take you out with a bullet or a steel arrowhead, but he
(or she) adds insult to injury
(more like fatality
) by butt-raping you when you’re dead. I pity wildlife.
Expect in the future to stumble upon an adult film where you see two porn stars dressed as hunters getting’ it on in the wild. And the Butt-Out Tool is one of many objects handily used for pleasure in the video. Later.
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