PARMAN'S JOKE OF THE DAY

A male and a female humpback whale were out swimming one day when the male spotted the whaleboat that killed his mother.

He said to the female, "Let's swim under the boat, put our backs against the hull and rock the boat, that will really frighten the sailors."

She agreed and off they went to scare the sailors.

Not satisfied with this the male then said, "If we swim below the ship and blow out our air we can sink the ship."

She reluctantly agreed and off they went to sink the ship.

With the boat sinking all the crew jumped into the water and were swimming for the shore.

The male then said, "We should go after those sailors and eat them."

"Now you just listen here." Said the female, "I went along with the humping, I even did the blow-job but there is just no way that I am going to swallow seamen."

PARMAN'S JOKE OF THE DAY #2

Q: What was Moby Dick's father's name?


























A: Papa Boner.

UPDATE: I got these crappy-ass jokes from an online message board, in case you guys are wondering.

I'm telling ya...Sam Jackson is Da Man.

The terrorists are gonna pay now...

The Lakers got robbed of a victory last night!!!!!!!

I ran into Denise a couple of minutes ago. Still can't get over her.

Last night, I saw a film called Replicant, which stars Jean Claude Van Damme as a serial killer in which a clone is made from him so that the clone could be used to predict the killer's next moves (he plays both the killer and the clone. Er, obviously).

I watched it in my Film Symposium class because the movie's scriptwriter was there for a Q&A session. The movie never made it to the theaters (if you saw the ending, you'd know why). It's too bad, cause Van Damme actually acted well in that one. And the clone hooks up with a fine hooker later in the film too.

Black Hawk Down didn't get nominated for Best Picture in the 74th annual Academy Awards?? BAH!!! Haha, just kidding...it didn't deserve a Best Picture nod. But how interesting that Lord of the Rings beat out Moulin Rouge, A Beautiful Mind, In The Bedroom and Gosford Park with 13 nominations. The last time a film almost swept the Oscars in terms of nominations was Titanic (14 nominations) back in 1998. Anyways... Unfortunately, I don't think Black Hawk Down will win any Academy Awards AT ALL...since the technical categories it was nominated in will most likely give the nod to Lord of the Rings. Oh well. And who DID watch Gosford Park?? That's what I'm wondering...

Let's hear it for the people of Philadelphia to be perfect buttholes. The NBA All-Star Game was held today, and the West defeated the East, 135-120, at the First Union Center. Michael Jordan was present, but his 8 points and missed breakaway dunk was second to Kobe Bryant's 31 points and his first All-Star MVP award. The other all-stars gave him props...but how did the fans of Philly congratulate him? With BOOS. Like how they boo Santa Claus, they booed Destiny's Child in last year's NBA Finals, and they booed Derek Fisher during yesterday's Hoop-It-Up contest that involved the Lakers, Sacramento Kings, the 76ers, and Houston Rockets. What a bunch of losers. They find booing to be fun and a trademark Philly gesture...but that is just plain LAME. Hopefully, STAPLES Center will play host to the All-Star Game sometime soon...so if Allen Iverson somehow wins the All-Star MVP award again, he can get a taste of what the denizens of Philly gave to Kobe today. Losers.

Let's hear it for the Dutch for not being tough OR having common sense. They were the only ones who didn't take part in the parade of nations during yesterday's opening ceremony in Salt Lake City. The Dutch said it was "too cold" to go out... DUH, that's why it's called the WINTER Olympics.

I'm glad to be an American.

Only 99 DAYS left till the film I've been blabbering about for the past couple months comes out.

Yesterday, in my Film Symposium class, I watched a film called Focus...starring William H. Macy and Laura Dern (both who are in Jurassic Park 3). It was pretty good film. The story's theme is about anti-Semitism in the U.S. during the World War II years. Macy and Dern play a couple who are mistaken to be Jewish--which causes Macy to be demoted from his job (he quits) and leads the couple to being harassed in their neighborhood. Pretty crazy stuff...and the ending was very interesting. Unexpected but powerful--which the ending to a film like Artificial Intelligence could've been if the last 15 minutes was cut out.

Looks like The Fellowship of the Ring isn't the only fantasy film that has characters smokin' out.