Wednesday, February 29, 2012
The Stupidity of the Internet... So three weeks ago, I developed a stye on the upper eyelid of my left eye. I went online to read about how I could treat it, and found out that a warm compress—a.k.a. warm wet washcloth—was the way to take care of the stye. Later that day, I went to the doctor (for reasons that involved other medical conditions I had at the time, or should I say, right now), and even he recommended that warm compress be used. Nice. Or was it?
So for the next couple of days, I’m placing a warm washcloth near my left eye while watching TV and whatnot...despite the fact I wasn't seeing anything substantial happening with that stye. I went back onto the computer to read about other stye treatments, and lo and behold, it turns out there is also a cold compress (or a cold wet washcloth) to treat the stye with. Um, really.
Apparently, for technical reasons I don't feel like Googling so I could type about them here, a cold compress should be utilized before a warm compress to help the affected eyelid become less swollen and make the stye more prone to bursting on its own (thus beginning the healing process). Well— Almost a week went by (after noticing I had a stye) before I found out about cold compresses...so you could pretty much say I got screwed over in not learning about this substitute treatment sooner. I read other articles where people said they alternated between cold and warm compresses when treating their eyes, which annoyed me further. Cold compress, warm compress— Which friggin' one is more effective? Make up your freakin' mind, people.
Despite the fact I devoted three paragraphs to warm and cold compresses, they're not the main reasons why I think the Internet is friggin' lame. The reason why I think the Web blows is because of numerous articles I stumbled upon about how styes need to naturally burst to begin the healing process.
Almost every stye article you'll read online points out that a warm compress needs to be used to help the stye come to a 'head', that is, the stye becomes big enough that it bursts and pus comes flowing out—alleviating the swollen area around the eye and allowing it to become normal again. What none, and I mean none, of these articles will tell you is how to clean your eye once pus comes gushing out of that fractured stye. There was one time where I immediately ceased doing a warm compress because some pus was leaking from my stye. I didn't know how to clean it off my eye, thanks to the Web being useless in this situation, so I stopped doing warm compresses for a day or two.
So there you have it... Two big reasons why I think the Internet is stupid. Conflicting messages about the use of cold and warm compresses...and idiotic articles about how styes need to burst in a pus-filled glory to begin the recovery process—but no explanation about how to clean the eye when this moment happens.
Quite frankly, warm compresses don't do jack for me. This past week, I saw pus gushing down my eye while doing a compress...but that pus came from the crevasse between my eyeball and eyelid, and not from the stye itself—which remains remarkably intact. Wait, did I use the word 'remarkably'? I mean frustratingly intact.
When it comes down to it, warm compress is crap. Cold compress is crap. And letting the stye burst on its own is crap. What isn't crap, or is actually crappier because this treatment is presumably more painful (and expensive), is the fact this stye will disappear the way other unsightly bodily features (like um, sebaceous cysts?) usually get removed: Through a sharp scalpel. Or in the case of this stye, the prick of an ophthalmologist's needle.
Carry on.
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