SUPERBAD... For those of you who haven’t seen the film yet (and are planning to), I just couldn’t resist the urge to list some of the most hilarious lines in the movie. So DON’T read on! Unless you want to be spoiled. Note: These are the lines that stood out to me after watching the movie (twice last weekend... The second time was for free). Only one of these quotes were looked up online, as I didn't know the exact wording.
-Seth (after Evan’s mom walks away): "I am truly jealous that you got to suck those tits when you were a baby."
-Evan: "Yea well, at least you got to suck your dad’s dick."
-Seth: "Look at those nipples."
-Evan: "They're like little baby toes. It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know...and like, I have to hide every erection I get."
-Seth (commenting on Fogell's vest): "You look like Pinocchio."
-Evan (to Fogell): "Take that vest off. You look like Aladdin."
-Officer Michaels (as he, Officer Slater and Fogell watch surveillance footage of Fogell getting punched by a thug who robbed the liquor store Fogell was trying to buy booze at): "You took that hit like a champ!"
-Seth (talking about Jules to Evan): "She wants to fuck me. She wants my dick...in and around her mouth!"
-Seth (to Evan): "You know how girls say 'Oh, I shouldn't have gotten shit-faced and fucked that guy at that party', we can be that mistake!"
-Jules (after she asks Seth if he could buy her booze for her party): "You scratch my back. I scratch yours."
-Seth: "Well the funny thing is, Jules, my back is located on my cock."
-Evan (commenting on Fogell's fake ID): "McLovin? What kind of name is that? Are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?"
-Seth: What? "Making her tits small is like slapping God across the face for giving her a great gift!"
-Evan: "She got back problems, man."
-Officer Slater (to Fogell after checking his fake ID): "You're an organ donor. My wife wanted me to become one."
-Officer Michaels: "It's just like a woman... Even when you're dead, she wants to tear your heart out."
-Officer Michaels (to Fogell regarding a comment made about the TV show "CSI" and semen): "If the man ejaculated before he punched you in the face, we'd have a really great shot at finding him."
-Seth: "No one's gotten a handjob in cargo shorts since 'Nam."
-Officer Michaels (after he and Officer Slater raid Jules’ house party): "Prepare to get fucked by the long dick of the law."
-Officer Michaels (to Officer Slater after he breaks into the room where Fogell is getting laid): "You cock-blocked McLovin!"
-Officer Slater (to Fogell): "I am truly sorry that I blocked your cock."
-Becca (straddling Evan in bed while wasted): "You have such a smooth cock."
-Evan: "Thanks. If you were a man, yours would be too."
-Becca: "I'm so wet."
-Evan: "Yeah, they told us that would happen in health class."
-Becca (after getting frustrated that Evan doesn’t want her to do him ‘cause she’s drunk): "Why are you being such a bitch?"
(You would understand the magnitude of that question if you saw that scene and realized how crazy Evan was for turning down Becca’s numerous “propositions”.)
-Fogell (as Nicola starts sucking on his finger in bed): "I have a boner."
-Jules (after Seth, completely wasted, stumbles forward and headbutts her before collapsing to the ground): "Whaaat the fuuuck??"
-Becca (the day after she got wasted at Jules' party): "I didn't vomit on you, did I?"
-Evan: "No, it went past me. I was like, stay away!"
And last, but not least:
-Fogell: "I AM McLovin. Chigga, chigga YEA!"
There are A LOT more hilarious lines in the movie, but I won’t ruin those for you...
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